Forgiveness
Forgiveness can be a touchy subject. So instead of painting broad strokes with how everyone else needs to be forgiving, I'll just take a moment to mention my attitude toward it.
I did not grow up in a very forgiving home. Sure, I was always expected to forgive the person who came and sat on my bed at the end of the day and asked for forgiveness, but as a general rule, I was taught early, and well, how to hold a grudge. Past wounds lingered, festered, and always left a bitter taste.
I grew up and became a source of one of those grudges. Some days I handle it well and other days I just miss what could have been. As each day passes I become more aware that my only job in this situation is to forgive. Not just one time, but all the time. Every time I think about what has been lost, I need to forgive.
Forgiving has become a habit, but it hasn't become my habit in every situation. That is where I have much room to grow. With the people who taught me how to hold a grudge, I have been fairly quick to forgive. With others, sometimes that becomes a more difficult task. Old hurts or frustrations will pop into my head and I will find that, while I thought I had forgiven, I am actually holding a grudge.
Recently, I went to New York City with my husband, Russell, and we took some time to go to the Memorial down at the World Trade Center. Very nearby there is a firehouse that lost many in the immediate rescue attempt. Everything about the memorial and the surrounding area is powerful. A reminder of lives lived and lost. A reminder of the heroic efforts of the first responders. And a reminder that "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It's a permanent attitude."
I want forgiveness to be a permanent part of who I am. Forgiveness is just one more way to love. And more than anything I want to love no matter what.
I did not grow up in a very forgiving home. Sure, I was always expected to forgive the person who came and sat on my bed at the end of the day and asked for forgiveness, but as a general rule, I was taught early, and well, how to hold a grudge. Past wounds lingered, festered, and always left a bitter taste.
I grew up and became a source of one of those grudges. Some days I handle it well and other days I just miss what could have been. As each day passes I become more aware that my only job in this situation is to forgive. Not just one time, but all the time. Every time I think about what has been lost, I need to forgive.
Forgiving has become a habit, but it hasn't become my habit in every situation. That is where I have much room to grow. With the people who taught me how to hold a grudge, I have been fairly quick to forgive. With others, sometimes that becomes a more difficult task. Old hurts or frustrations will pop into my head and I will find that, while I thought I had forgiven, I am actually holding a grudge.
Recently, I went to New York City with my husband, Russell, and we took some time to go to the Memorial down at the World Trade Center. Very nearby there is a firehouse that lost many in the immediate rescue attempt. Everything about the memorial and the surrounding area is powerful. A reminder of lives lived and lost. A reminder of the heroic efforts of the first responders. And a reminder that "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It's a permanent attitude."
I want forgiveness to be a permanent part of who I am. Forgiveness is just one more way to love. And more than anything I want to love no matter what.
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